More on REVISED synopsis & story (derived from the old one)

This synopsis & story is somehow based from or derived from the old, and the reason i tried to created this new one because the previous one in some ways doesn’t make sense. It has no introduction, intention or conflict for the character that leads the character to solve it and end, but just more like the character’s goal to achieve his goal to return his age…

Revised Synopsis

Muso was a Mongolian warrior whose vow to be loyal to the race had become well known among the eastern Mongolian warrior units and villagers. His task passed on from the leader was to be a spy and slowly damage the western Mongolian race from inner community, but with the greater of trust, prestige and wealth gotten from the western Mongolian leader, he changed his mind and decided to betray clan and joined the army to destroy the eastern Mongolia tribe. His sin was inscribed on the bloody land of the eastern Mongolia clan, and he was then cursed by spirits of the eastern Mongolians, causing him older and older until his death, leaving his own soul suffering.

Revised Story  

In Mongol 1209, Mongolian empire was divided into two sides, eastern Mongolia and western Mongolia, and they had been fighting each other over five years. A great warrior of eastern Mongolia, Muso, dedicated his life to fighting for his tribe and he vowed to the sanctity. During the war in the same year, he was ordered by his devilish leader to be a spy and gradually destroy the western Mongolia, which was 10,000 li, or 5000 kilometers far away. However, to make he goal accomplished, he had to be close to the enemy’s leader. Being under the western leader of Mongolia for a while, because of trust, prestige and wealth that he got from them, more than ever, he changed his mind and decided to be loyal to the western Mongolia. After a month passed by, the war was coming to the nearly end. Muso joined the army and headed towards the eastern Mongol, fighting against them in the front line for a couple weeks. Eastern villagers and great warriors died in a hugh amount within one month. Muso rode his horse and inspected many bloody dead bodies lying on the ground until he stopped before the holy place of eastern Mongolia. Suddenly, he heard like spirit voice murmuring in his head and when he looked around, he noticed red, purple souls that were seemingly revengeful floating around.  Muso then was getting pain in his head and parts of body until he fainted and fell down. Having a a little feeling of relieve, he could feel that he was out of power and couldn’t move, just his eyes slowly opening and looking at a broken iron arrow head. He then could see his own changed face, getting pretty much older with countless wrinkles. After a while the rain started falling, harder and harder, until the revengeful spirits uses a spiritual chain to link his soul and pull out sharply. His exhausted soul was then hanged above the holy ground in order to be penitent forever. At the same time, the western army headed way back home with a thought that Muso already died in the battle.

Main Key Scenes form the story

– Swearing to the eastern Mongolia

– Being a warrior spy in western Mongolia

– The battle of the two Mongolia tribes that includes Muso

– Muso’s weak soul hanged above the holy ground

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s